Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize