So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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