You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize