His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
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