Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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