how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
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We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
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Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.