butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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