Tell her she can't have a vagina
thus making me awesome and them whores
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
