Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
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He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
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Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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