I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
