have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
