Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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