my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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