I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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