you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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