Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize