I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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