everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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