He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
