Cold hands, warm shart.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize