i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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