allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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