That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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