So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
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and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
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Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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