Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize