I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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