i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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