tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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