But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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