she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
