To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
