remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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