nut hugger
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
