Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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