Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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