Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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