I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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