well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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