I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
