i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Dick very happy bro
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
