I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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