Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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