Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize