You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
i think i just naturally attract stoners
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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