oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
