I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
