i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
