you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize