R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
