hell yes lets make some ravioli
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
