Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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