i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
