She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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