bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
