I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
